Re-thinking resilience

There’s been a lot of research that shows the huge importance of ‘bouncing back’ after difficulties.

And there is absolutely no doubt that our ability to be able to pick ourselves up after a setback is incredibly important for our learning, development, and how we ultimately go on to shape our lives – for the better.   

And that’s probably why it’s a quality that pretty much always gets mentioned when I ask parents what kind of skills they want their children to develop as they grow. 

But sometimes, I feel that the word resilience has a bit of a hard edge.  That it’s somehow related to just carrying on, no matter what; and pushing through despite what might feel like a brick wall in front of us. 

And that makes resilience feel really hard, leading so many of us to burn out.  I think a lot of us felt this in the peak of lockdown, and it’s something that a lot of us still struggle with.   

But thinking literally about the nature of a bounce…there is a slowness in between the bounces, a pause between one bounce and the next that has such a lightness about it all.   

What if we were to allow ourselves a pause after a challenge.  To reflect, to question the whys and the wherefores of what happened. To understand how you feel about it all, and get curious about what your emotions are trying telling you about the situation. 

If you’re feeling angry, allow yourself to be angry.  If you’re feeling sad, allow yourself to be sad and let the tears fall.  Both will provide a great energetic release to what you’re been through.  

Only then, can you really learn and develop from it – moving through the various emotions inside of you so that you can get to a place of lightness before you can take on the world again, in a better place than you were before.  

So, how will you create your lightness in between the bounces of your life?  To really move you forward into a better place, and open more doors into even more possibilities?